Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
