me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
