Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
