Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
