She said her name was "party"
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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