no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
