it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
