you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
