I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
