Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize