It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
