Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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