found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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