You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
did i walk over a car last night?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
