You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
