Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
