Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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