I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
