May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
