Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
