so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
