erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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