Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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