so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
