Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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