Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Randomize
