we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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