idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
