I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
