marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize
