Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
