Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
