She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
