Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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