I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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