In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize