last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
