Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Randomize
