your thong is hanging out like whoa
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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