youre lurking in front of me
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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