When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
