Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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