Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I think people are normalizing furries
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
