how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
