What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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