Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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