You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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