The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
