My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
