We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
