Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
lol hangovers are for mortals.
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