Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Randomize
