He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
zippers are such a cool invention
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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