I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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