Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
