"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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