Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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