If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
