this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize