i wish there were pregnant emoticons
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
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