its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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