I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
this hospital has no fireball
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