Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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