Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I feel like I'm in dance class right now
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize