After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
