So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize