So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
