why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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