Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Mom said you looked used
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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