I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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