Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Randomize
