If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
