shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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