I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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